Tuesday, March 31, 2009

menage a deux ... non?

Amelia says -

My boyfriend wants to have a threesome. Me, him, and … He said he wouldn’t care if it was a guy or a girl he thinks it would be kinky either way. He also said he understands if I don't want to do it. But still, wtf?! Sure he had had a couple beers but he was far from drunk when it just spilled out his mouth. I don’t even remember what we were talking about. And immediately I start thinking – it’s like cheating but I’m there, it opens the door to cheating in the future, blurring boundaries, I don’t want to share, some hoochie kissing my boyfriend, and my blood is boiling and I’m ready to kill this girl who doesn’t even exist. Notice that even though he said it could be him and another guy I’m assuming it would be a girl? Because honestly, who wants 2 guys on them? I’d feel way too intimidated and too many pressures to perform for both. It’s hard enough sometimes to perform for one when I still have to get the dishes done, and go work out, and make lunches for tomorrow, and that pile of books is getting higher and higher and there are so many other things that need doing. Every once in a while, can’t he do himself? Now he wants to do it with me – AND someone else. And if you do decide to do it, where do you do it? I’d be dead before I let some kinky stranger come into my home and find out where I live for future stalkerish purposes when she realizes just how hot my boyfriend is. But I also wouldn’t go to some stranger’s house where you could run into anyone on the sidewalk, in the kitchen eating dinner, in the bedroom closet with a video camera … And hotels are cheap. And skeezy. And I am neither of those. And how do you do it? It doesn’t bother me one bit that my boyfriend has a secret kinky fetish or two. I figure sexuality is what it is and so long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, it’s all good. It’s just not necessarily true that his idea of sexy and mine are coinciding on this issue. And if he’s feeling kinky and I’m not, do I fake it? It’s like a cardinal rule that you don’t fake orgasms because for one, you’ll probably never have a real one again because he won’t know how to give it to you and he’ll expect you to be moaning in ecstasy within 2 minutes. It just doesn’t work that way. So is kinky the same deal? If you fake it once, are you stuck faking it over and over again until you decide that the guy just isn’t worth the leather pants suit and the secret password?

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