Friday, March 6, 2009

My Glamorous Single Life

Anna says...
Life in the media is so much better for the single women...Sex and the City, Lipstick Jungle each show us that as strong, independent women we should (a) have an unlimited fund to buy the latest Dolce and Prada sensations; (b) we should be able to eat anything and never gain a pound; (c) meeting people is fun and easy and not exhausting in the least; (d) WE are not to blame for's all "them" (ie. males); (e) everyone is having sex and it is amazing sex and (f) we should be able to wake up and look like we just came back from a Vogue fashion shoot...

My life doesn't look remotely close to this. I'm in law school (so cue all law school references..."Legally Blond," chick from Law and Order, etc.). Except, I have no money (because I have basically set aside my savings-and the savings of others, to pay tuition and live a very frugal existence. My clothing consists of random pieces that I have collected from my life (all the way back to highschool) that I attempt to mesh together in order to form a proper outfit that will not be mocked. Oh! And, I'm not blond and have bad taste in shoes.

Luckily, I have a pretty good metabolism, but I fear feeling 'jiggly' so I refrain from eating greasy pizza and chocolate cake and (attempt) to go to the gym so that I can run off my unhealthy binges of glosette raisins and sour candies.

Meeting people is perhaps the most exhausting experience (for me anyways) and when I don't have to...I won't, because the prospect of feeling socially awkward for more than 10 minutes makes me want to vomit. Who would want to put themselves through this agony voluntarily???

My personal pet peeve is that as women, we get together (most of the time over food and/or a drink) and we try to convince ourselves that there is NOTHING wrong with US. We are PERFECT. Yeah, so what we treated a guy we liked kind of shitty...THEY should have known what they were doing wrong. Personally, I kind of think that we should start being honest with each other...not brutally honest, but honest enough to say "Dude, he smiled at you and you scowled and walked in the opposite direction...what do you expect?" That being said, prefacing the entire thing with "You're gorgeous!" or "You've got a great personality...but..." is a nice way to pad the reality bomb you're about to drop.

I'm not having sex.

When I get up, I look like garbage. BUT! On a brighter note, I really couldn't care less if anyone sees me this way (a sign of maturity I suppose). But seriously....bad hair, eye crusties, dry skin and sweat (especially during my period when I wake up and swear that I must have taken a shower fully clothed while sleeping).

G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S...oh the glamorous, oh the flossy, flossy...

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