Saturday, March 28, 2009

Imagine your life in movie scenes

*image courtesy of

~Amelia says ~
What if your life were a movie? What kind of movie would it be?

Mine might be a boring one ... or maybe my life would be more exciting because of it ... no, it would probably be boring. The movie people took back to the store and demanded their money back from. Take my morning for example:

I woke up alone in bed (boyfriend was out last night and crashed on the couch watching tv). So the day started as a documentary. A day in the life of the girl with bad breath. I heard the tv on so I came out to the living room. Everything's a mess. There are cushions on the floor, a blanket too, along with a load of folded laundry, a gift from my sisters, an empty sour cream container, but my boyfriend's adorable. Then he farted. Which leaves us in (I hope) a romantic comedy. The guy just can't ever reach my expectations and someday, maybe tomorrow, I'll realize he's just fine the way he is. He woke up when I came in and rolled over without leaving any room on the couch for me. Let's do this one backwards. Switch to porno. I squeeze in with him, he runs his hands through my no longer greasy hair and wraps one arm around me while the other arm brushes the unfinished puzzle off the coffee table so we can make out on it. I know, I'm cheating. But maybe I need a little porno in my life.

Seriously though, I think most of my life would be documentary style: studying the strange behaviour of the independently attached mid 20s young professional woman. (Notice I somehow elevated my status in my description? I'm no longer the girl with bad breath). And I think everyone's life would be - aside from my boyfriend's sister and cousin. They're so goofy it would be straight up slapstick comedy. If I could add a few genres to my life, I'm desperately craving some romantic comedy. No drama. Fuck drama. Give me a bit of action hero. And porn. And they would come along with some movie star finesse. I'd always have shiny hair. And a great body. No pimples (damn you pimples!). And great shoes. C'mon shoes!

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