Sunday, March 8, 2009

Sex positions that aren't

*image courtesy of

Amelia says -
While sitting with Ava having drinks at a pub we started talking about the names of sex positions. And laughing over them. Which led us to think of names for sex positions that don't exist but just sounded like they should. Of that list, here's the creme de la creme:

Bottle Rocket: shake until he blows
Virtual Golf: close your eyes and focus on your follow through
Moosehead: akin to "fisting" but using the foot
Gold Platter, Silver Spoon: the male equivalent of a money shot - they mount you from behind, pull out at the crucial moment, aim up
4 Leaf Clover: you decide
Double Jointed Donkey: kick with both legs
Leaping Lassoo: you wrap your legs around him, he gyrates
Little Red Riding Hood: likes it in grandmother's bed. With the husband from next door. Please use discretion as it WILL end your current relationship
Flying Scotsman: moans must resemble the bagpipes
Sweater Vest: acceptable presence of chest and back hair (more of a fetish but warranted inclusion)
Spit and Polish: self explanatory
Track and Field: this can be broken down into the long jump, the shot put and the caber toss


  1. That is too funny!! Hubby wants to know how much you had to drink before deciding on the names.

  2. Obviously we didn't drink anything! We are naturally brilliant and hilarious! (does that count as a suitable excuse for me not knowing?)

  3. Ha! Sounds like the conversation at my weekly poker game.