Sunday, March 1, 2009

Anna is man's best FRIEND.

Anna says...
So, that's not exactly how it ended up going down yesterday night...seeing as though I only got home about two hours ago (and it's 9:30 AM). No. I didn't sleep with anyone (gross because boys have diseases...specifically boys in law). For those of you who don't legs will be crossed until I'm married...vow to God, etc. Yup, we still exist in the world.

I ended up going to a friend's place at 10:00 PM for the pre-grame where I had a vodka and 7-up (drink #1) with a group of her friends. It was actually pretty fun. We chatted about crap. Then, all of us progressed onwards to the coffee bar/bar place where the event was being held.

I saw some people that I hate in my year, which quickly brought me to drink #2...Guinness (which I nursed for a good 3/4 of the night). My gang was actually pretty social. We met some med dudes and started chatting about malpractice (wow...even I fell asleep listening to myself talk). I got random hugs from random dudes in my section (which is always nice).

Thing is, all the brown dudes-and there are a LOT of them in med-are looking for white girls (did I mention I'm Brown Town? Okay, because it's actually sort of insecurity with me and the dating world). Yeah, I know it shouldn't be about race...but here's what I heard...

To get with a white guy you need to be (a) really smart or (b) white or (c) really really pretty. I didn't make up these rules. These rules were 'taught' to me by a couple douche bags in my class. They implicitly stated that I was not any of these things (I really know how to pick um' don't I?) Anyways, I don't know if I'm really pretty. I think I'm a'ight-average. I'm not smart...but I'm a hard worker (yeah, I know I'm in law but that means dick-all). And clearly, I'm not white (this is pretty obvious).

I once read a book called "On Beauty" by Zadie Smith (if you haven't read it, it's amazing). One of the main characters in the book was Kiki-a black woman. She used to have all these white guys always flirt with her and give her hugs, etc. but she knew that NONE of them were interested in her or would ever even consider her at dateable material. The flirting was sympathy flirting (gulp...'pity flirting'). The entire night, I felt like I was a victim of the 'pity-flirt'. Which brought me to tequila shot #1.

After finishing the Guinness (I'm like 110 pounds), I was feeling a little wobbly. I saw my room ate-who is the funniest, coolest guy-and I basically ran up to him and gave him the biggest bear hug. I was sincerely excited to see him because he's adorable (and no in case you were wondering). Anyways, he bought me a tequila shot which we did together. After realizing that my glass of Guinness was empty, another dude (with a girlfriend...who brought this up in conversation like 20 times in two hours-dude, I get it) bought me drink #3.

I sipped on drink #3, and eventually ran into rando guy-third year law. We started chatting and he started talking about India and teaching in Thailand. He went to grab a Strombo at the bar and asked if I'd come with him...

I did. We chatted some more. He told me that his parents died-and at that point, drink #3 hit me like a pile of bricks. I said, "I'm so sorry to hear that" (trying to make sure that my words came out in a full sentence). I told him about my loss of hearing for the first half of second semester, etc. It was actually a pretty good conversation...But you know what I kept thinking? Why are you talking to me? Are you trying to get a lay this evening? If you only knew what I wouldn't be wasting your time.

Eventually, I told him I had to go find my friends, and he said "It was nice to meet you Anna." Looking back, I like it when people use my name in a shows that they actually care and were semi-interested in what I was saying. Plus, I don't get to hear my name too often, so it was nice.

I then ran back to my gang where rando guy from my section kept giving me enormous bear hugs (this is common for him, we have this thing where he gives me hugs every time he sees me because he thinks I look pouty). This is completely platonic since he has a girlfriend as is a shameless flirt. I think he just likes the attention he gets from the other guys (and he likes to tell me what an awesome FRIEND I am. I'm such a great FRIEND. Which he doesn't seem to do to anyone else...ummmm...dude, I'm not even thinking about you that way... sooo...yeah....)

At this point drink #3 was putting me in a trance. Three of us decided to leave. We went over to a friend's house to decompress and eat ice cream (ummm...word of wisdom...Guinness and ice cream do not mix...actually the combination is lethal...I had my head in a toilet for a good ten minutes). While the girls were talking, I fell asleep on her couch in my jacket and mitts. By the time I woke up, it was 6:30 AM and I realized..."Holy shit! I gotta go and study!"

Which led to me going home. Throwing on a pair of sweats and falling asleep in my own bed for one hour, waking up and drinking about 1L of water).

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