At some point in time, every Jewish mother decides that their dream in life is for their daughter to marry one of the following;
1. A doctor
2. A lawyer
3. A dentist
Upon first glance, how could this possibly seem like a bad thing? These men obviously have a very good head on their shoulders, are incredibly intelligent, and are heading towards a career path that can leave you sitting pretty if you become Mrs. Doctor, Lawyer, or Dentist. So what’s the problem? Is it the fact that the majority of my family are doctors, lawyers, and dentists? Is it blatant rebellion in that I refuse to date anyone my mother deems as “appropriate”? Normally, the thought of “playing doctor” would be a turn on, at least for me anyway. That being said I have yet to date a doctor. However, I digress…So why do I stray from the ideal? I’ll tell you why.
Years ago, when I was 19, I dated my mother’s dream come true. He was 24, came from a good family, was attractive, charming (to the mother’s eye), and a dentistry student at the University. Sure, he was cute so when he called me to ask if I would accompany him to this art show his professor was hosting I said why not. We had a good time, and when he dropped me off, we made plans to go out again.
He took me to a bookstore this time which, might I say is a very good idea for a first date. Every book can bring up a new topic, or help you learn just a little something more about your date. We talked, got to know each other and had a great time. When he dropped me off do you think he kissed me? Nope. Maybe he’s shy, I thought. Did I have something in my teeth? Bad Breath? Third eye? Two dates and nothing…what was going on? The Dentist was best friends with a cousin of mine at the time so I knew he was into me.
On to date number 3. First, we went for coffee. While java jiving, The Dentist told me how he cannot stand it when people ask for his advice or dump their problems on him because as he says, he has his own shit to deal with. Really not something you say to someone who was at the time, completing a psychology degree with the intent of entering the helping profession. After the 12th conversation about molar crowns and root canals, it was apparent that the attraction was no longer. This was an immediate turn off. We then went to a movie, Austin Powers, Goldmember. We laughed, and after the movie let out had some meaningless chatter about the movie’s funniest moments.
Back in the car, The Dentist turns to me, and says, I really like you, and would like you to be my girlfriend. I felt like we had just had a business exchange. Should we shake on my response? Do I have to sign the pre-nup now? Of course, I was very nice and told him that although I enjoyed hanging out with him I just wasn’t sure if I wanted to be in a relationship right now. I added that we could still definitely hang out. He dropped me off and I didn’t hear from him again. It seemed like he was trying to secure a girlfriend before the start of his 3rd year of dentistry so he didn’t have to spend time trying to win anyone over. Apparently, year 3 is a tough one. Needless to say the whole experience left a ’bad taste in my mouth’. Pardon the pun.
*Sidenote – just because you lead a busy life, doesn’t mean you should slack off in the courting process or the relationship in general. Women want to feel desired, and wanted. Don’t think that just because you’ve put in the initial effort means that you should stop trying.
For weeks after that, my mother continuously asked what happened to the dentist. He was a dentist Ava, and he was cute. Eye roll, groan, and another eye roll. You never give them a chance, what’s so wrong with a nice Jewish dentist?
He’s just not for me ‘ma. Eye roll, grown, and another eye roll. You’re just preoccupied with that Asian boy you’ve been hanging around (otherwise known as the first great love of my life and whole separate series of blogs), I say again, he’s just not for me ‘ma.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure there are tons of wonderful men out there who happen to be doctors, dentists, and lawyers. What can I say? I prefer the artsy types. Sorry Ma.