Friday, October 2, 2009

To the Exes in my life....

Ava says....

We’ve grown up, we’ve grown apart, we’ve moved on. We may have lost touch purposely or by accident. We fell for someone else, we fell out of love with each other, we just weren’t the same. You used to be so cute, so sweet, so unbelievably amazing. Now you’re not but you are to someone else. Yet, I still think of you.

I learned things from you. I learned that who I was with you is someone I’ll never be again. I learned who I should be and who I have become now. I learned what I don’t want and what I do want in terms of a relationship. I learned what I want for my future and why, unfortunately, you can’t be a part of it. I learned that in many ways, I’m happier now. I learned the touches I like, the kisses I want and the positions I yearn for. I learned that trust, communication, and chemistry are the most important parts to a relationship. I learned when one disappears, how difficult it is to get it back again, if at all. I learned that I’m always willing to try until the trying becomes fruitless. I learned that I believe the best in people even if they hurt me. Fool me once, shame on you….fool me twice, shame on me. I learned to stick to my guns, love myself and believe that I am a fabulous femme who doesn’t need a relationship to be happy. I learned how to bury you and all your associated baggage. I learned I can move on with someone new without looking back too much.

But sometimes I still think about you. I wonder how you’ve been. I wonder what you’re up to and whether you treat her any differently than you treated me. I’m sure you do. I think about your family and wish them well and wonder whether any of your dreams, desires, or aspirations we used to talk about has come true yet. I think about how we were each other’s “one before the one” and how maybe you’ve finally found your “one”. I realize it still hurts to say out loud. Although, I’m happy now…..the heart still misses what once was. I guess it’s the human condition.

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