Wednesday, October 7, 2009


Amelia says -

I've seen a lot of dick in my life. Some of it intentional, some of it not (whoops!). And seriously, my idea of "a lot" is probably much less than your's - except you Anna - I've probably seen more than you assume. I'm not saving myself for marriage and I don't believe that my virginity is my "self", and I do believe in test driving cars and men, and sometimes I just believe in fun. Case in point, I am very comfortable with my dick-seeing.

I'm also in a point in my life that I'm very proud to be in. After my last relationship I felt kind of broken for a good chunk of time. And when I make a mental image of myself now, more often than not, I am ducked and covered. But I think that new protectiveness comes along with some self-awareness that I didn't have before. I'm ENJOYING being single. I'm not closing doors. I'm kind of seeing one guy - an artist - and I'm sleeping with another. And I'm happy. I know that the artist wants more, that he wants a relationship with me, he knows that I'm not ready but he's ready to give me whatever I need because I'm important to him. I know that I will probably never have more with the booty call. And I'm comfortable.

The first time I slept with the artist - who is Japanese - he asked me "what do you think of Asian penis?" I jokingly said "you know, it does the job". But I was thinking - seriously, I don't think you have an Asian penis. I was ready for disappointment and it didn't happen. I've seen Cauc-Asian penises that were smaller. The fourth time I slept with the artist he asked me "what is your favorite position?". I told him. The fifth time I slept with the artist we tried it. To no avail. I quickly suggested another position which disappointed him. He had wanted to enjoy my favorite with me. But with him, it was no longer a favorite. He said "I don't think we fit together". I balked - we're great together! We're hilarious! I love spending time with you! He said "physically".

I guess we're made with bigger bits (or should I say bolts), us caucasian girls are. Realizing that was one of the hardest relationship issues I've ever been faced with. There was nothing I could do. My innards were just too long, my body too tall. Realizing that I was crying was one of the most surprising revelations I've had. This guy could hurt me! I am SERIOUSLY into him! I ducked and covered.

We decided to keep seeing each other. That it worked before, it would work again, just not in certain positions and we may have to be creative. Creative is my middle name. Bring it on. But bring it slowly because I'm not quite ready to be seriously serious.

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