Butterflies

Ava says...

You know that feeling you get when you kiss him for the first time? Or when his hand "accidentally"grazes yours even though you know he was just trying to hold your hand and chickened out? Or when he looks at you and you can’t seem to stop smiling? It sort of feels like you need to vomit or that there are hundreds of fluttering butterflies taking refuge in your stomach. It might not sound all that appealing when describing it in words but really there’s nothing like it and no one should settle for anything less than vomit-inducing butterflies.

It's hard to keep that feeling alive when you're in a long-term relationship. I was in a very (accent on the very), long term relationship and the butterflies disappeared far earlier than expected. It was my first relationship so really, I assumed it's just what happens when you stay with someone for so long. Don't get me wrong, I loved him very much but he was my first love and because I didn't have anything to compare him to, I figured it was normal. On the flipside, I've been dating my current boyfriend for just over a year now and still feel nauseous every time he touches me. This is the way it should be. Those butterflies are a surprisingly important part of a relationship. Your senses are heightened. Every touch, every kiss is just better. Every experience is special, they stay with you far longer and are the subject of many day dreams when you still have that feeling in the pit of your stomach. I can't believe I stayed in a relationship for so long without them.

Now I know all of you cynicists would argue that I could still be in the "honeymoon" stage with my current beau and that if I stick around long enough, those butterflies will flutter away also. Call me an optimist but I really don't think so. I have a fluttering feeling that those butterflies won't fly away anytime soon.