Wednesday, June 30, 2010

To cheat or not to cheat?

Ava says...

Is it crazy for a woman to ask the question, "is it ever okay to cheat?" Don't get me wrong, things are still peachy in my paradise but I've always pondered whether there are situations where cheating can be justified or forgiven. Are you unhappy in the relationship? Having trouble communicating? Had one too many margaritas that night? Are these reasons cause for justification? For "forgiveness?" I guess that's debatable. Do we forgive and forget solely because of that age old fear that we just don't want to be alone....don't want to single.....again? I would lean towards this option. Maybe it's easier to try and rebuild the broken trust because it's harder or more stressful to find someone new.

I've been cheated on. It was the worst feeling in the world knowing your man has been intimate with another while claiming to love you. You want details; how he touched them, did he kiss them the way he kisses you, did she cum? The level of trust you two once had is broken and it's really up in the air whether you'll get it back again. I forgave...I "forgot", but is it ever the same after the damage has been done?

What's worse?

Everyone's heard the argument of physical cheating vs. emotional cheating. Is one harder to move on from than the other? On the one hand, it was only sex. On the other hand, why did it have to happen in the first place?? Was I not enough? Did I not give him enough? yada yada. On the flipside emotional cheating is having genuine feelings for someone other than your current partner. I've been the cheated and it's been physical.....I moved on (tried to move on). It was only sex, I can forgive that. People make mistakes yada yada. However I'm thinking the emotional cheater would be more difficult to forget. Having real emotions for another person behind the back of the one you claim to love...I can't imagine how awful that would feel.

Am I just naive? Can you ever really forget something like that? I could count my blessings and say that he wasn't in love with any of them. But there's the rub; if he was only in love with me then why get your hands dirty in the first place?

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